Censer and Smoke

Wow, did I get a lot done today, thanks to spottedtoad  and his lovely wife, both of whom Ludi is absolutely enamored with now. We got all the books and bookcases moved, as well as my bed, so I can spend the night at the new place. Movers are coming first thing Monday morning, and I have WW and book club tomorrow morning/afternoon, so that leaves tomorrow afternoon/evening to bring back emptied boxes (assuming I get books put away tonight) and get the rest of the stuff packed up to move. Amusing moment of the day: After lunch -- we'd both driven to restaurant after making a trip to the new place -- both spottedtoad and I walked to the wrong cars and got all befuzzled when we couldn't get in. I have a silver Honda Civic and he has a white pick up, and there was a nearly identical pair of vehicles parked three spaces down from us. How odd. I wasn't going to take Ludi yet, but I don't think I can stand to leave him here alone, so I think I'll scoop him up and carry him off tonight, too. We can greet the new house spirits together tonight. :)

Inguz (pronounced ing-guz) - Seed, Ing

Rune Poem:
Ing was first amidst the East Danes
so seen, until he went eastward
over the sea. His wagon ran after.
Thus the Heardings named that hero.

My Impressions:
This is one of those rare few runes I have encountered so far where the rune poem just doesn't help me very much. As with all the runes associated with specific Gods I am really attempting to get to the "meaning behind" them which is why for Ansuz I associate it with wisdom and mystery more than Odin himself, and for Tiwaz I see steadfastness, justice, and sacrifice more then the God Tyr. In those cases the rune poems was helpful for that exploration.

Ing (or Yngvi) is identified as Freyr in the lore but I tend to disagree with some others about Freyr's nature. I do not really see him as a "god of growing things and fertility" that I hear so often. To me very few Indo-Eurpoean Gods fit that role. And while yes, of course they do have connections to Earth and harvest and what not, I generally see their strongest reflection in societal type roles. For Freyr I tend to see him as a God of of Sacred Kingship. That is, the god of the ruling class. Upon whose piety, judgment, and ability to connect with the Gods and Goddesses (especially the Goddess of the land on which you live) the community was dependent. This relationship is bad -- bad things happen (pestilence, disease, poor growing crops) is good -- good things happen. And, by the way, we all get to be sacred kings (or queens) today if we choose to be.

So to continue this line of thought, this rune seems to reflect those ideas to me. It indicates seed or potentiality in that through its power greater things can be achieved and also the right we all have, which was once only available to and the duty of the noble class, to make those greater connections.

Kenaz (pronounced ken-az) - Torch, Ulcer

Rune Poems:
Anglo-Saxon:
The torch is known to every living man
by its pale, bright flame; it always burns
where princes sit within.

Icelandic:
Disease fatal to children
and painful spot
and abode of mortification.

My Impression:
This is a weird ass rune!

It seems to have two distinct meanings. I was trying to reconcile to the different meanings, as I am want to do, but I am having some issues. There maybe something to say about an ulcer being a "burning pain" but how does a torch relate to being fatal to children? I am just not seeing that.

I think it is best to view it as sometimes good and sometimes bad depending on how the seer interprets it. In some cases it represents pain and fear. In others it represents a guiding light in the darkness.

This is an imagined conversation that started with an actual, true-to-life statement.

"So you're a storyteller? That doesn't sound very difficult. You just get up there and tell stories, right?"

ME: "There's more to storytelling than just telling stories. A good storyteller makes it look easy, but there are many techniques being used to ensure a solid performance. You don't realize how difficult it can be until you get locked in a room with a bad storyteller."

THEM: "Doesn't sound that tough to me. I'm sure I could do it. How hard could it be to tell a couple of stories?"

== Freaky Dream Sequence Music ==

ME: "I guess you're right. It's like being a musician, right? All you need is to strum a guitar and anyone can be a musician, right? Money for nuthin' and the chicks are free, as the song goes."

THEM: "Well no... that's not true. It takes years of training, dedication, and practice to learn how to play guitar. And it's not enough to play guitar, you also need to learn specific guitar playing styles like jazz, folk, rock, etc. The guitar is a powerful instrument and not just anyone can just play it well. That's ridiculous."

ME: "Oh... sorry. Right. Learning an instrument is different. Okay... so it's like being a writer, right? Anyone can sit a write a novel and get it published. It doesn't take any special skill to write a book. Anyone can write an interesting story and get published, right?"

THEM: "That's crazy talk! To be a successful writer, you need to understand the components of literature, grammar, and style! And it takes an enormous amount of dedication and discipline to just finish a story that you start, and even more courage to actually committ yourself to developing an idea into a creative work of art! Just being able to write a grocery list, an email, or a post-it-note to buy more milk is a world away from being a true writer. Are you insane"

ME: "Of course. How naive of me. It's not a good comparison. I guess it would be like being an actor, right? You just memorize a few lines, put on some fancy clothes, and enjoy the limelight of public adoration. How hard can it be to be an actor?"

THEM: "What?!? Being an actor is more than just memorizing lines! You have to understand body language, voice projection, and portray realistic emotion on cue! It takes years of study, training, and more than a little competitive drive to succeed as an actor. To truly appreciate the theatrical artform, you need to understand props, lighting, pacing, projection, movement, and emotive inflection! Acting is a very complicated artform!"

ME: "Okay... I've got it now. It's like being a public speaker, like a politician. To deliver a good speech, you just need to review your speech a few times and everyone will hang off your every word, right?"

THEM: "Where have you been living... Under a rock? It doesn't matter how well-written a speech is: a bad delivery of that speech will destroy it. A talented public speaker needs to connect to his audience by his presence, his use of eye-contact, the clarity of his voice, and his innate knowledge of the speech. Just reading a speech will bore an audience to sleep, but the speaker who knows his speech intimately can move his listeners to tears or to battle. Speeches have been made or broken by the person who delivered them."

ME: "Well geez... I don't know. I guess storytelling relies of aspects of all those disciplines. Being a storyteller takes dedication, training, an understanding of voice, stance, body language, pacing, and really understanding your story. There are different storytelling styles, depending on the audience, and the storyteller needs to study them completely to be able to craft and deliver his story in a way that is compelling and entertaining to his audience. Storytelling is an artform as complex and rich as acting, music, dance, writing, and public speaking."

THEM: "What? No... You just get up and tell a story. It's easy and anyone can do it."

Othala (pronounced oh-thall-ah) - heritage, estate

Rune Poem:
An estate is very dear to every man,
if he can enjoy there in his house
whatever is right and proper in constant prosperity.

My Impression:
The strongest impression I get from this rune is heritage. Not in racial or national heritage but that which is handed down and shared between families. And not necessarily blood families either. In ancient times the ancestral home, or homestead, would have been something that was important to be passed down. Actually now that I think about it in not so ancient times as well. Like many other people who work with runes I prefer to place this one at the end of the list. It seems to complete the circle. Fehu, which begins the circle, is about prosperity and Othala is about passing it along.

This was the mission statement, until a few days ago when the Board of Education voted to remove a few words, of the school system I grew up in.

Mission: Providing education to achieve success.

Vision: To be the best organization for learning.

We Value: Responsibility, honesty, respect, integrity, commitment, belief in God and religious freedom, our community, our partnerships, and every person as a unique individual with the ability to acquire and apply knowledge.

Gan you guess which three words got some people upset?

Honestly I never even heard of a mission statement growing up. Although when I was growing up it was a much more rural community than it is today. I never really thought of it as an exceptionally religious area but looking back now, I suppose it was. When I was growing up it was not unusual at all to get stuck behind an Amish buggy making its way somewhere (usually to church), there were even "hitching posts" at many of the restaurants and grocery stores, and the entire area continues to this day to be "dry" as in it does not sell alcohol of any kind. I suppose it's telling as well that at least two of my graduating class mates are now ministers in fairly conservative branches of Christianity. (I would like to point out here that both of these gentlemen are people I greatly respect -- even though we may not agree on a whole lot and we are probably not going to invite each other over for dinner -- neither one of which has never taken up the many opportunities they may have had to attack me or give me a hard time for my religious beliefs or being open about by sexuality.)

Still, I never really thought about it as a "religious community" growing up. School was the same boring thing it was, I imagine, for every kid. We talked about girls (while secretly, in my case anyways, looking at the guys) and sex, and sports, school work and plans for our futures. We made some mistakes and had some pretty great successes. I don't remember the topic of "God" coming up a whole lot in the classroom. Occasionally something would be said. I remember one science teacher having what I consider a minor breakdown in class one day about her feelings about the rejection of school prayer. A girl was kneeling down to get something off the floor or something and she was like "you can't kneel like that! If I think your praying in my classroom I have to tell someone or I could be fired!" which I remember thinking was ridiculous even at the time and know now that it was a gross overstatement of the law. In High School there was a Christian prayer group every morning around the flag pole. I actually thought at the time, and still do today, that it was done in a very classy way. It was led by students and no announcements were made or posters set up. They just quietly went out and did their thing. I never felt any rejection from another student or teacher for not attending this prayer group. Yeah, there were a lot of churches in the area but no more then any other place and, honestly, where I live now (which is a pretty typical blue-collar city neighborhood) there are at least 4 or 5 Christian churches within walking distance and a great deal more once you add driving distance into the mix.

All of which leads me to believe that, actually, Lake Local Schools never really did have an expressed value of a "belief in God" and I wonder why it was ever included? Sure many of the people there, and probably still today, were adherents (at least in name) to a Christian religion but, long before the debate of modern times, it was very, very seldom expressed in the classroom. I even remember once during a biology class about evolution when a student expressed their disbelief in the concept that the teacher very calmly said something like "I do not disagree but in this class we are going to talk about the science" and that was that. No drama, no class action law suits, no disrespect.

So, how do I feel today about the words "belief in God" being an expressed value of my alma mater's mission statement? Specifically as a non-Christian? I am a bit hurt and confused to be honest. You know, there were a lot of problems with that area growing up. Lots of racism for instance. There is a large population of migrant workers in the area every summer and some of the words I have heard directed towards them were pretty disgusting. But it never seemed a place growing up where this kind of "in your face", forceful Christian insistence would have been necessary or, really, ever approved of. I am saddened that the people in what I think of as a safe, religiously diverse, and loving community have allowed themselves to become embroiled in this kind of silliness. And I am hurt to my core at some of the comments I have read in defense of this language. Legally, morally, respectfully it has no place in a public school's mission statement. No doubt whomever included it knew that. But to say that raising the issue of their inclusion is an attack, of any kind, on Christianity .... I truly respect people who hold their religious values close and teach them to their children. It was how I was raised and it was wonderful and exciting for many, many years -- until I realized that it was something I could no longer believe in. But it certainly did me no harm and my people, those of my family and others, have lived those values in their acceptance, tolerance, and honesty towards me even until today when I know there are a lot of things about my life which are new and sometimes frightening for them.. I know that for them living their faith, and I hope my own is as strong, is not about forcing everyone else to live in some kind of statement of value but living those values themselves.

In the end, I guess, what bothers me most is that it took a threat of a law suit for the Board of Education to consider removing those words. I suppose it truly is not the community I grew up in anymore ... and that is what is truly sad.

Until Then and Always
~ Jamie

* It seems prudent to unbind Saturn's feet  and let things go all topsy-turvy only after I've dismissed students for Winter Break.

Man, I love my students. Well, most of 'em. Just printed a boatload of my favorite quotes on bookmarks to go with tomorrow's candy canes for the holidays. We'll be watching the end of Akeelah and the Bee, which I hope psychs some of them up for our school bee in January. At the very least, it's a nice way to wind up the end of the semester and stroke their egos a bit. As soon as I saw the movie and heard this quote, I knew I had to show this movie:

(From Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love. It was quoted by Nobel Prize–winner Nelson Mandela in his inaugural address.)

Many, many of my students are indeed brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous, but few of them acknowledge their gifts, and many are even ashamed of them. I know what it's like because that's what it was like for me in junior high, too. I would much rather have a bunch of gloating teens with pretty good grades than a bunch of emo ones slashing their wrists over their first B's. Everyone who seems to think that teaching pre-AP kids is such a breeze never was one of those kids, I don't think. The pressure everyone puts on themselves is equaled only by the pressure they put on themselves. Last week a boy in my 4th period class broke his foot in PE 3rd period. Before he'd let his mother take him to urgent care, he insisted on having her wheel him over to my classroom to find out what his homework was.

I love 'em, but sometimes I just want to bop 'em in the head.

One of the perqs of working in a district where students tend to be fairly well off is that kids tend to bring you lots of things for the holidays and at the end of the school year. And they don't mind if you thank them with a hug in return. They can be pretty darn generous when the cause is right. Last week we took several vanloads of gifts and donations to families on the south side that our school had adopted from Mission View Elementary. It was pretty awesome. The National Junior Honor Society sponsored a food drive, and my 3rd period class brought in more food (per capita -- it's my smallest class) than any other in the school. We're having a donut and cocoa party tomorrow to celebrate. Oh, and our NJHS reps have volunteered to let my students spray them with RediWhip as a reward -- for which we'll be taking a brief excursion to the girls PE showers. *That* should be interesting. Poor Meghan and Genevieve will be covering themselves with garbage bags and shower caps, and I suggested they also wear swim goggles. Mr. Miller suggested the shower room as an easy place for us to hose them off when it's all over. Maybe I'll have pictures tomorrow.

See why I love 'em so?

First repeat pull - Laguz again

Laguz (pronounced log-uz) - Water, Lake, Ocean, Waterfall

Rune Poem:
A waterfall is a River which falls from a mountain-side;
but ornaments are of gold.

My Interpretation:
The strongest feeling I get from this rune is "change" and consistent, impossible to halt change at that. I choose the rune poem for the waterfall because I think it must clearly represents my feelings in regards to Laguz. The power of natural water cuts canyons and tears away mountains. It chooses its own course and its time.

Gebo (pronounced gay-boh) - Gift

Rune Poem:
Generosity brings credit and honor, which support one's dignity;
it furnishes help and subsistence
to all broken men who are devoid of aught else.

My Interpretation:
A gift for a gift; this is a concept really important to ADF (and other Pagan/Heathen religious groups). This rune to me represents that idea as well as the idea that even if all else is lost and even if one is at a really down moment in their life that this concept is available to them. Finally it represents the need that when things are going well that it is important to share with others, to keep those in mind who have less.

'Twas a very cold ride home, but a fun parade.



I'll post links to any after-dark videos if I hear about them.

Fidget has a new habit, it seems: waking up before the dawn and singing SiNgInG SINGING his little heart out. Covering his cage doesn't stop him. Letting him out to play doesn't stop him. He is very intent on his sing-age.

I. Am. TIRED.

Beware, co-workers, this is a grumpy Robyn indeed.

Just a short write-up of the Silver Falls Grove, ADF Yule Rite while it is fresh in my mind.

We are moving away from scripted rites at Silver Falls. Honestly this is NEVER something that I expected to do. I like and am accustomed to reading words while leading a ritual however for various reasons we have decided to move away from a full script. We still have an outline and often a few parts here and there are scripted but for the most part we are trying to deliver our invocations and invitations extemporaneously.

We started the rite with a meditation, which I also delivered extemporaneously, I actually feel as if I am getting pretty good at delivering meditations. Of course I have no idea if this is true or not, or only true for me. There have been no complaints, not where I could hear anyways. :) I then did the outdwellers appeasement. I used the appeasement I use in my home rites, which is actually a call for peace, and I felt a response almost immediately.

Today instead of doing the standard welcoming/invitations of the Three Kindreds we did a three round sumbel. Before we began we dedicated the sumbel to all the Gods and Goddesses of the Norse pantheon. It was a lot of fun as three of us called to them one after another. Even Loki, though I chose to avert my gaze and turn away for that part. Yeah, I don't have a problem with Loki, I think I understand his role more and more and I do not object to his being called in an ADF rite (anymore) but I am not quite ready to form a *ghosti- relationship with him.

After the sumbel we had a praise offering time for the three Kindreds and then welcomed our key offerings of Odin as the leader of the Wild Hunt, Frigga as Mother, and Baldr as the God of Light and another round of praise offerings for those three.

The only part of the rite I was not crazy about was the blessing. We chose to do a sprinkled offering because we had just three rounds of passing the horn. In fact, if I remember correctly, it was my idea. At big rituals, like at festivals, the sprinkled offering has never bothered me. I have always been able to imbue the blessing just fine but in this rite it just did not work for me.

I think most people felt pretty good about the rite. It can sometimes be pretty tough to gage responses but everyone I talked to seemed to enjoy it. I really feel like we are coming along in our rituals. We aren't there yet, well come to think of it we will not really ever get there -- we will always be improving, but I am really happy with our direction and skill levels.

We had 14 attendees including 4 first time visitors. A friend of mine, from the UUCGC (Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Greater Canton), a couple who seemed to enjoy the rite and are interested in coming back, and Manda's boyfriend who, I am quite convinced, thinks we are all more than a bit crazy. We were missing a couple of members, the weather out east was pretty icy and Anthony had too far to drive in the ice and snow. We miss him :( And another member didn't make it, I am not sure why. We miss him too. :(

Our omen, taken by Manda, was:


Inguz - Seed/ Fertility, Dagaz - Day/Dawn, and Nauthiz - The Need Fire -- which, I have to say, is a pretty awesome omen for a Winter Solstice rite if you ask me!

So ... offerings made, blessing received, good omen, and nobody died. A good rite all around.

Isa (pronounced ees-ah) - Ice

Rune Poem:
Ice is very cold and immeasurably slippery;
it glistens as clear as glass and most like to gems;
it is a floor wrought by the frost, fair to look upon.

My Interpretation:
Ice can be very beautiful to look upon but is also very dangerous. It is very difficult to travel on ice. And for this reason I see Isa as indicating something in a frozen or static state. Not moving or changing for a time. This is not neccesarily a bad thing but it is not neccesarily a good thing either, it just is. While in this state it is really important to take some time to enjoy the beauty of the world around you.

Oh, and pre-Ritual Omen:



Algiz: Protection we must earn
Nauthis: The need fire/sacrifice
Perthro: Luck and fate

My Interpretation:

We can gain the attention of the Kindreds with a bit of luck, a bit of hard work, and trusting in ourselves.

Ehwaz (pronounced EH-was) - Horse

Rune Poem:
The horse is a joy to princes in the presence of warriors.
A steed in the pride of its hoofs,
when rich men on horseback bandy words about it;
and it is ever a source of comfort to the restless.

My Interpretation:
The horse is a really powerful beast of burden. Man's learning to tame and breed animals is sometimes overlooked in its importance. And when it is brought up it is almost always in association with cattle and goats who were tamed for food and whose domestication allowed people to move from hunter-gatherer societies to agrarian societies. How often do we overlook animals like the dog and the horse? And while both were food sources for many peoples (and continue to be so today) their much greater gift was in transportation, companionship, and independence.

This rune signifies all to me. The ability to travel at need, to be successful in one's independence, and constant, and loyal, companionship.

Lots of things going on!

- I had an excellent time at the Yule Fair at Melange Magique in Montreal, last weekend. Many thanks to jdhobbes for his kind hospitality. Juniper and I are hoping to return to Montreal soon, at least in time to see the Waterhouse show at the museum. I still have a few copies of my books available, which didn't get sold at the Yule Fair. Contact me privately if you would like to buy a signed copy from me.

- In January, I'll be teaching Ancient Philosophy with the Cherry Hill Seminary. This course will be offered online, and it isn't necessary to be enrolled in one of the CHS' degree programs, so anyone can take it! Details about the course may be found here. To enroll in the course, please visit the CHS Admissions page.

- At long last, I found a job! I'll be working as a security guard for a local company here in Ottawa. I start my training in about a week, and will get my guard license after the training is done. I've been assured that I'll start working shortly after that. The company I will be working for has the contract to do security for Winterlude, one of Ottawa's biggest festivals. A few weeks ago, I probably would not have considered security as a viable job option. And I've never thought of myself as much of a "warrior". But on the suggestion of a friend, I applied anyway. The manager was impressed with my resume: it seems that he is looking more for people with social skills, rather than with physical skills, and since I have been a teacher for many years, I have what he was looking for. I also have some indirect experience in the field which will be useful. I think this will be an enjoyable job.

Hey, valgarth, you are a highly trained and experienced security guard, are you not? Any advice for a newbie?

- Then, this afternoon, Juniper and I accidentally found a new place to live! We were walking around near the U of O and happened to find a house with an "Apartment for Rent" sign, just as the landlord was walking in the front door. So we asked to see the unit. It was wonderful! Big and spacious, well lit, hardwood floors, excellent location, excellent price, and we practically fell in love with it right away. We looked at a few other places too, but at the end of the day we phoned the landlord of the apartment we found by accident, and told him we wanted it. We will meet him again tomorrow to sort out the details.

I had decided back in January that this was the year in which I had to change my life. Hence, the decision to quit university teaching, leave Hamilton and southern Ontario, and so on. Yet even two months ago, I did not imagine that I would be in the position I'm in right now, with a new job about to start, a new place to live, a new and wonderful relationship beginning. Of course, I still have a few worries. For instance I am very short of money right now. But I'm feeling quite confident about my future, much more so than I have felt all year. Cheers!

I apologize that this post comes across as so antagonistic. After disappointment after disappointment where my rights have been stripped and denied I am not in the mood to have meaningful conversations with these people. I have known many, many good Christian people in my life. All references in this post should be taken as directed towards the organizations and not individuals.

For those of you who have not been following the story. Over at The Wild Hunt there has been some discussion about the Parliament of World Religions and those few Pagans who, for all intents and purposes, Self-Delegated themselves to be attendees. Some of them have taken it upon themselves to call themselves. and by extension all Pagans, as practitioners of "European indigenous traditions".

This has been explained in several ways. One as "bridging term" that allows us to the segue into a deeper, and frankly more honest, explanation. Or as a way to assert our legitimacy towards other attendees who represent more mainstream religious views.

Here is a story that Michael York, one of the "self-delegates" offered in support of this language in the comments"

"For instance, Gavin Andrews encountered a Roman Catholic priest at one point who asked Gavin which tradition he represented. Gavin replied first by identifying as 'indigenous European'. He then added, "You would otherwise know this as 'pagan'." The priest thanked Gavin and said that 'indigenous' he understood as a positive; 'pagan' for him was negative. But because Gavin had presented in the order he did, the RC priest was able to understand and proceed with an understanding and discussion of paganism which would not have otherwise been the case."

And so I ask ... why do, or should, we care? We know how this plays out right? We know that this Roman Catholic priest will never acknowledge our legitimacy, that he will never "understand and proceed" as he claimed to do. We know because we have lived through this years, especially in the United States. Here is what I expect. The RC Priest was being nice, in the spirit of the Parliament, and trying to show some decency to a fellow attendee. I certainly applaud him for that. I also expect that as soon as he heard the word "pagan" he thought something like "crap, how do I get away quickly" or "what can I do to convert this man to Christ". What's worse is that I really fear that his niceness and decency was possibly a fraud. An expression of something he didn't feel so that he could get Mr. Andrews into a state of mind where he could then "save" him from the evils of Paganism.

Do we really believe that RC Priest does not have an understanding of Paganism? Not an accurate one, mind you, but an understanding none-the-less. That we are evil, worship the devil, and are part of the world wide conspiracy that harms children and murders people? These are things that Roman Catholic Church believes, of course not all Catholics but the church as a whole.

Frankly, I am quite sick of playing nice with these people. Why any Pagan would choose to attend this "Parliament" is beyond me. They do not want us there. The mainstream religious delegates don't want us there. The truly indigenous people, like American First Nations, Polynesians, and Australian Aborigines, don't want us there (and they certainly don't want us claiming some false indigenous tradition that attempts to put us on par with them), hell a lot of proudly Neopagan people back at home, like me, don't want us there. Why are we bothering? Why do we care?

I do not need, nor seek, the approval or label of legitimacy from mainstream religious organizations, many of whom I find hate filled, despot driven, disgusting parodies or what they claim to represent, to be fulfilled. I do not need, nor seek, conversations with people who then turn around and deny us rights and make, what they must know are, sweeping lies about who we are and what we do.

I am just going to sit over here and be the Syncretic Celtic-Heathen that I am. The proudly Neopagan member of a New Religious Movement. And when I meet these people it is going to be with sharpened axe in hand (figuratively of course) not with sugary words or schemes of language misrepresentation in the hopes that they will talk to me.

Jera (pronounced yehr-ah) - harvest, year

Rune Poem:
Plenty
boon to men
and good summer
and thriving crops.

My Impression:
Abundance, plenty, neighbors sharing their excess goods with one another. Warm late summer days. Beautiful evenings. These are all wonderful things but I think sometimes when Jera is used we often forget, we forget what back-breaking labor the cultivating of crops really was for the ancient Germanic peoples. We forget what had to be in the backs of the minds of everyone celebrating this season that the long dark is looming.